


Again? Fuck off

by just_let_me_post_my_stuff_pls



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Multi, Time Travel, canon can suck my gonads, listen this is utter "fuck the ending and most canon shit imma do what i want" bs so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:19:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19716076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_let_me_post_my_stuff_pls/pseuds/just_let_me_post_my_stuff_pls
Summary: Bilbo Baggins was dead. He had died the same way he had lived most of his long (very long) life, peacefully and quietly. But of course the Valar weren't quite done with the Hobbit yet, much to said Hobbits disdain. But Bilbo Baggins, gentle-Hobbit of Shire, knew that one had little say in ways of the Valar. So it was to no surprise that his only words about that matter were as follows...





	Again? Fuck off

**Author's Note:**

> ok lads listen in real quick, I really don't wanna dive head first in tolkien lore so most of this is made up bs ok? I really only wanted for this thing to exist so my brain can fuck off for a minute. Many thanks

Bilbo Baggins, 131 years of age, stared at the cold hard ground in front of him. His parents graves. A sight he would recognize them even if he had been blind. But they looked....fresh? As if they had barely been put into the ground and returned to the gardens of the green lady. His parents had died in TA 2912 during the hardest winter the shire had ever seen, his mother was killed by wolves when trying to reach some of her kin, his father died of a broken heart shortly after, leaving Bilbo an orphan at 22.  
Over the years he had forgotten their faces...his mothers loud and unladylike laugh, his father's silent love...  
'But that was then, and this is now'  
Bilbo had an inkling of what had happened. He looked around the shire, the rolling but snow covered hills, the many Hobbit holes along the way...  
Yes this had the Valars handwriting all over it - and he had quite an idea of what to with his newly won youth and time as well  
"Again? Fuck off...well this ought to be interesting indeed!"

As Bilbo reached his home he first set about making tea, for he still was a Hobbit, and tea and some cakes just sounded so very tempting after all of that.  
So the Hobbit set about making some tea (ginger lemon) and wrote a list of things that he needed to do: before the quest took place, during the quest and after everything (hopefully) went right this time around.  
He really hoped it would.  
Surely the Valar didn't send him back just so he could fail. *again*.  
Probably...  
...maybe...  
Bilbo sighed.  
"Well, no use putting off the inevitable"

And with that, Bilbo Baggins, aged 22 in body but 131 in mind, marched his way from his cozy, but ultimately empty, Hobbit hole, towards the Thain's home.  
The Thain's home way like any other in the shire, build inside a hill with round windows and door, looking cozy and inviting to anybody who came across it.  
Bilbo was greeted by his grandmother, Adamanta Took neé Chubb, who look at him with a curious but ultimately sad expression.  
She was a strong sort of woman, having already lost two daughters previously, and now the beloved Belladonna as well. And even though all that loss her eyes remained kind, and her smile still shone brighter then the many lights on the party tree, as she took in Bilbo's determined expression.

"Hello Bilbo dear! Come in, come in! It's still dreadfully cold out just let me- there you go"  
As she quickly ushered his shivering form inside Bilbo noticed that she locked the door behind him - 'how very curious' - you see Hobbits never locked their doors! It would be terribly rude to be so openly suspicious of your fellow Hobbits, 'no matter how many thieving relatives you have'  
'concentrate you old fool!' Bilbo chastised himself. Lobelia was not his concern right now, there were far more important matters at hand!  
"So my dear, what brings you here?" Adamanta asked him, looking him up and down for any signs of injury or sickness or any other equally as dreadful predicaments.  
"Oh don't give that look- I'm *fine* I just- I need to speak to grandfather as soon as possible!" Bilbo pulled his coat tighter around his form, away from prying eyes. He didn't remember ever being this thin before the quest, but then again this was a long time ago.  
"Bilbo you know we worry don't you? You are still so young-not even an adult yet-and all alone in Bag End....we haven't seen you in a week, nobody has.."

He looked at her then and knew that he was going to add to her heartbreak, but he had no choice..  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you" he took a deep breath to steady his nerves "but i really need to talk to the Thain now"   
She bristled. it was unusual for Bilbo to use his grandfather official title so it must be important.  
"He is in the drawing room, be a dear and bring him a cuppa why don't you"  
"Of course" He really didn't want t continue this conversation any longer, fearing that his nerves got the better of him, so he walked with at a brisk pace, cup in hand, to where his grandfather was supposed to be.  
Standing before the drawing room, Bilbo took a deep breath, and knocked three times on the large oak door in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> ....¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
